Thursday, April 29, 2010

Why I Believe

Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight. I wish I may I wish I might have this wish I wish tonight. Please, please, please bring me a dog....

It was the prayer of a 7 year old. A bedtime ritual that finally became a reality when our family moved into our first house. A real house.

Schatzie was a stub-tailed schnauzer that looked somewhat like a seal when I pushed his ears back. He had a distinct odor and a brown and grey matted beard. He was my best friend and I could tell him anything. He heard about fights with my friends, my first love interests, and all of my wishes and dreams.

We lived in a safe area, but on the corner of a busy street. Schatzie was always walked with a leash. Although he could be trusted with secrets, he was kind of a dumb dog and would wander away if he wasn't chained to the house. One day he got out by mistake. I don't know how long he was gone- but I know my parents had that worried look on their faces. My dad drove around in the car, we spent hours calling his name, the police were contacted and the family was beginning to lose hope. It was dark and almost time for bed. I had to try. Just one more time. I didn't tell anyone- they wouldn't have let me go.

I remember walking up the dark street, praying once again.
Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight...


God, please God, help me. Help me find my dog. I need him. He can't be gone. He has to come home. He is the best dog...a tear trickles down my cheek.

I can see movement in the street. It is him! Schatzie, my chubby little stub-tailed friend. He comes right up to me with not a care in the world. I pick him up and carry him the rest of the way home, struggling with the awkwardness, thanking God all the way.

I don't know why Schatzie came across the street at that instant. I don't know where he was as we looked and called for him for hours. What I do know is that a child prayed with all her heart and believed that God would provide. A child knew that no one on earth had the power to find her best friend, that God was her last hope and that He was listening. The child believed. I believed.

As I write this, I have a heavy heart. There is so much wrong in the world. So many things happen each day that force me to question my beliefs. But as I reflect on that day I still know that God will provide. He is a presence that will not abandon and even as I question, I can truly say, I believe.

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